Ever get into a back-and-forth with your child on what time they should have really been asleep? Or how they didn’t clean their room like they were supposed to?
Surely, every family has had somewhat of a similar situation, which may lead to anger, yelling or slammed doors. Either way, it’s not a fun experience for parent or child.
What if there was a way for the family to come up with the expectations together so
- Everyone is aware of the expectations
- The expectations are written down so you can always refer back to it – hence in the situations described above
- Your kiddos decided, hey, I guess I’ll actually do what we discussed, since I helped come up with it anyways 😉
More than that, what if children
- took ownership of their decisions?
- started to improve their speaking skills, using stronger conversation language?
- Shared responsibility in family decisions and their turnouts weren’t ALL your responsibility; so some weight was lifted off your shoulder?
As I describe in my video here, establishing a time to sit down with your family allows you all to go over expectations, discuss whatever topic is necessary for your family at the moment (i.e. bedtime, how often you can go hangout with friends, responsibilities, etc.) and it makes all the difference in the world!
I had community circle/morning meeting time with twenty-seven 8 to 9-year-old 3rd grade children! The environment of my classroom, how they treated one another, treated me, respected our classroom, EVERYTHING was a night and day difference from when I was having these meetings, to when it was not a daily priority.
So, what are family meetings and what can they do for your loved ones…?
What are Family Meetings and What’s the Purpose?
Family Meeting Time (FMT) is a given period of time designated for every member of the family to get together for discussions. This is relatable to a Morning Meeting in the classroom. How the meeting looks is up to what works and is established by each family.
The purpose of the family meeting time could be specific to your family but overall, it establishes an accountable, pre-set time for the following:
- A space for open discussions, without judgment
- Honest time for parents and/or children to raise concerns or questions
- Opportunity for children to build on life skills, listen to differentiating opinions of various topics & participate in mature discussions without arguing
- An assurance that every member of the family has a voice
- A guarantee that parents remember to check in with their kids to prevent sudden, unknown habits
- More preset & proactive expectations versus rules, scolding and punishments
- Discussion of worldly matters such as the current news or rights of individuals
How is Family Meeting Time Different from Dinner Table Talk?
- It’s a comfortable setting with a set purpose
- No shame, no blame motto
- It’s a time to bring up specific issues by using key phrases such as; “I’ve noticed…” “What do you think?”
- The time is clearly set for deep discussions you wouldn’t necessarily get during dinner time, all the time
- Parents and children can bring set topics without distractions
- Targeted focus on the topic; not on the food or eating 😛
Getting Started with Family Meetings in your Home
My Family Meeting Guide walks you through every step to initially start meetings with your family. You will learn the ins and outs including the purpose, how to set up the expectations and foundation within your first 2 meetings, the recommended language to use, and sample topics for future meetings.
Now that you have a better idea of what a family meeting is, you can get started on the first steps, how exciting!
- Figure out where you want to hold your first meeting
- Start your first meeting to set up the expectations – remember you’re the facilitator, but the family is coming up with the expectations together
- If you’re a parent to younger children, I recommend a second meeting on expectation setting – discussing what the time will look like, feel like, and sound like
- Keep going! Consistency is key! (ever hear that before?) If you need help figuring out what topics to discuss, download my free guide
Comment to let me know how it goes, what questions you have and what else you’d like to see. I’m so excited for your family to get started on this journey!!
The Parent’s Teacher (Shay)
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